In January, I decided to take break from social media for the rest of winter after feeling inspired while concurrently reading Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport and Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May.
Earlier this week, on the first day of spring (and also my birthday, woop woop!), I posted on Instagram. On some level, I had looked forward to that moment for the entire two or so months I spent off of the platform. Whiiiiiich is how I know I’m not ready to be back on it.
I’ve decided to take the rest of spring off of Instagram, too.
I’m no longer ashamed to admit to myself or others that my social media addiction makes it so I cannot both have social media on my phone and live a life in which I feel present, embodied, calm, and centered. I must choose, and I’m choosing health and happiness over constant digital connection.
In Digital Minimalism, Newport quotes Tristan Harris*, a digital media expert, as calling the smartphone “a slot machine in your pocket.” That quote resonates with me a lot. I feel freer and more grounded when social media isn’t on my phone. I no longer feel that slot machine-like pull to focus on a screen instead of, well, life.
I want to live in my body. For me, social media makes that very difficult.
Being on social media daily and being embodied feel fundamentally incompatible, like trying to walk in opposite directions at the same time.
Social media is an inherently disembodied state. I don’t want to judge others for their social media usage, because I know that not everyone’s experience is identical to my own. But I can’t help but wonder if those who are particularly susceptible to social media’s pull are, on some level, using the apps to avoid being present in their bodies.
Social media is a shiny object beckoning us when we want to be distracted from discomfort, whether that discomfort is physical pain, anxiety, sadness, rejection, boredom, loneliness, or something else. But like any other addictive substance, social media only acts as a balm in the short term, while making our problems (and related suffering) more severe in the long term.
It’s a trick that I’m done falling for.
I often enjoy imagining a healthy future in which I can check Instagram multiple times a week without compromising my ability to live in my body or the present moment. But I’m not sure that is a daydream that will ever come true. For once, I’m okay with that.
*Harris cofounded the Center for Humane Technology, which has a great, easy-to-read page on how tech is affecting our attention and mental health.
🎙️ When I told my friend
that the more embodied I become, the less attractive social media feels to me, she encouraged me to listen to the 10% Happier Podcast episode with Glennon Doyle as guest. Although we’ve taken very different routes to get here, Doyle and I have landed on similar conclusions regarding social media and embodiment, and I also recommend that podcast episode.🎙️ Speaking of Carmella, I finally got around to listening to the first episode of her new podcast this week! Like her newsletter, the podcast is called Scroll Sanity. The first ep is titled, What Is Digital Minimalism? She and cohost Nic DiBella introduce the new podcast and talk about the pros and cons they’ve experienced since switching from smartphones to “dumb” phones. I’m excited to keep listening, as I’m sure the episodes will help me stay mindful on my own digital minimalism journey.
This all sounds really good, Jay. That's really cool that you were able to feel out your relationship to social media when you went back on and get a sense that it wasn't feeling good. It's an exercise in listening to the voice inside, our intuition, to remember what we want for ourselves, instead of going with the automatic reaction of reaching for the likes and the apps. Thanks for the podcast shout-out!!!!! :)