I’ve practiced Zen Buddhism for several years, and a dominant concept in Zen is shoshin, or “beginner’s mind," described in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind: Informal Talks on Zen Meditation and Practice by Shunryu Suzuki. Having a “beginner’s mind” means entering each situation with openness and willingness to learn, rather than overlaying it with preconceived ideas and assumptions.
Although my wellness coach training didn’t mention beginner’s mind explicitly, the outlook they described trying to instill in clients sounded similar. People often struggle to make meaningful, long-lasting lifestyle changes, because they approach the process with (often false or limiting) preconceived ideas. Letting these go is necessary to moving forward.
For example, if a person’s preconceived idea of “exercise” involves hour-long group classes at a gym and they are currently experiencing chronic fatigue* or pain, they may falsely assume they cannot incorporate exercise into their life at this time. But with a beginner’s mind, they may realize there are many ways they can exercise, such as by stretching for five minutes after waking up, or by walking the dog to the end of the block and back after dinner.
One role of a coach is to help clients change their thinking in ways that facilitate positive lifestyle change. My instructors emphasized that this process often involves guiding people toward revising or simplifying their goals. Apparently, it’s immensely common for people to initially set goals that are either unrealistic for their situation or not relevant to their lives — goals that they think they “should” have rather than goals that will truly serve them.
The process of “failing” to achieve goals and then needing to revise them to something more fitting is integral to coaching. This process is completely normal and to be expected. But, because our society has a pathological preference for outcome over process (my words, not those of my coaching instructors 😂), most people struggle with it.
Often, “failing” to reach a goal feels so bad, a person would rather give up altogether than reframe and try again. I’m hoping I can help my clients accept this natural process by introducing the concept of beginner’s mind.
I said I’d dedicate January’s newsletters to beginnings, but I’m realizing that beginnings will likely show up here for as long as I’m writing. Pursuing healing and wellbeing is a process of perpetually beginning.
This week, I noticed my intuition telling me that my second values cards selection was still off, but I initially resisted the message, the way people often resist revising their goals. The thought of having to admit I’d changed my core values three times in one week felt like a failure and evidence of my indecisive ADHD nature, something I still often feel shame about (though I’m learning to let that go).
But from the framework of beginner’s mind, admitting that something isn’t working and starting fresh isn’t something to be ashamed of, it’s something to aspire to. And so, I practiced beginner’s mind by redoing my card selection, which I’ll discuss next week.
*After rereading this, I realized I want to clarify, so no one assumes I’m one of those people who believes exercise can instantly cure chronic fatigue or that all chronic fatigue stems from “deconditioning” — I don’t think that at all, Nor do I think anyone who experiences post-exertional malaise (PEM) should be encouraged to do movement or activity at a level that triggers their PEM.
Based on the research and my personal experience as someone who has had PEM, I do believe “exercise” can be beneficial. But for many people with PEM, that means starting with 5 minutes (or less!) of activity rather than 30 or 60 minutes. For others, it means standing up from bed and considering that the “exercise” of the day. I’m a firm believer in tiny, gradual shifts made while still honoring whatever limits chronic illness imposes, which vary from person-to-person and can only be known by the individual.